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2/8/18

I wish I knew then. 



Looking back over the past year or so (thank you to facebook "on this day") but realistically a year ago I was holding a plump baby boy on the beach visiting my parents at their snowbird retreat. During that visit I was still postpartum, running on fumes just to make it through the day. All the while running after a very busy & emotional toddler. Again thinking, ok soon he'll start sleeping through the night, soon the will be able to run together on the beach building sand castles jumping into the water.
I was also thinking, soon I can have my life back. Not the old life pre babe, but you know a little bit of breathing room life. The first few months are the hardest, but now looking back was it really that hard? Or were we just tired? It wasn't until recently this year, about a few weeks ago. I started thinking here we are; we have an almost 4 year old potty trained little miss & an even plumper walking talking milk guzzling steak eating little baby boy. WHERE DID THE TIME GO? Emotional? Of course, the saying pops into my head a few times every day now. "The days are long and the years are short" couldn't be more in my face! This shit is as real as it gets! Especially as a stay at home mom I'm in the trenches 25/8. (Publix & Target being my alone spots when I can break away) The days are long enough that from the nap wake up to dinner I wonder how am I going to make through the rest of the day. I've read numerous blog posts about other moms doing this exact same thing, raising kids and looking back. Women of all age raising kids in the 80's, 90's and so on. Do you know the common thread each one said in so many words...." I wish I knew then"I don't want to ever feel that way. Maybe its just the inevitable or its how we all as moms deal with different stages of kids lives. We are all different for sure. Some of us decided to stay home maybe it wasn't an option maybe it was, some of us have amazing careers and work full time, part time, from home, or in home caring for other kids. Whatever it is we are all in the same boat. To some degree I think its safe to say we all want to savor the good moments of our little ones lives.  The snuggles, the firsts, the sounds of baby laughter, the smell. (Is it me? With both kids I have wanted to bottle up that baby smell and keep it forever.) all the amazing things that come along with these little beings we are so fortunate to call our own. Whether its "throwback Thursday" or "flashback Friday"  9 times out of 10 you''' you see someone posting up a photo from when their kid or kids were little. I guess I'm trying to say I know now that this short period in my life is flying by, and I need to slow down, pump the breaks and really take it in. This coming September she will be off to a full day pre-k. And then just like that these long days with both my babes home schedule free (for the most part) are gone. I'm letting go of the little things. We are going to spend the next 6 short months being care free, if we want to sleep in we will, if we want to spend the day in our pajamas, we will, if we want to eat cake for breakfast, we will. Because I don't want to look back and say "I wish I knew then".



XoXO,

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